The Ideal husband

(Author Unknown) There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey, It’s me.” “Sugar!” “Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall […]

The New English

(Author Unknown) The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would […]

Young Executive

(Author Unknown) A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make […]

Read this only in your moments of despair

(Author Unknown) Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight; Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in. Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege. Should you have a bad day at work; […]

Checkout

(Author Unknown) A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping centre. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry, and was not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier […]

Love of Life

(Author Unknown) One day an 11 year old girl asked her daddy, “What are you going to get me for my 15th birthday?” The father replied, “There is much time left.” When the girl was 14 she fainted and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor came out and told her dad she had a […]

The Mexican Fisherman

(Author Unknown) The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. […]

How to tell when you’re rich?

(Author Unknown) When I was a kid in Minnesota, watermelon was a delicacy. One of my father’s buddies, Bernie, was a prosperous fruit-and-vegetable wholesaler, who operated a warehouse in St. Paul. Every summer, when the first watermelons rolled in, Bernie would call. Dad and I would go to Bernie’s warehouse and take up our positions. […]

Put the Glass Down

(Author Unknown) A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.  He raised a glass of water and asked the audience,  “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”  The students’ answers ranged from 20g to 500gm. “It does not matter on the absolute weight.  It depends on how long […]

A Second

A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the mysteries of life and his own personal problems. The man couldn’t find the answers, so he sought help from God. “God? You there, God?” he asked. “Yes. What is it, my son?” God answered. “Mind if I ask a few questions?” the man asked. “Go […]

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