Papercranes

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future doesn’t seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, […]

Friends

(Author Unknown) One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must […]

题目待定 – 管子

Chinese Literature – Novel 诗云: 书信写罢无寄处, 此情惆怅与谁诉, 欲向江南梦楚云, 回首已忘来时路。 你道此诗从何而来?说起根由虽近荒唐,细按颇有趣味。原来蘅塘退士孙洙选诗之时,于浩如烟海的传世典籍中,提炼出三百零一首诗,孙氏只用了三百首,逐成唐诗三百首,单单剩下这一首未用。不知过了几世几劫,后有个山南府人氏,自幼习文,屡试不第,逐弃文从武,介时连发三矢,竟无一中的。眼见得功又不成名又不就,又不甘遵君子安贫达人知命古训。偶得此诗喜出望外,异想天开欲当唐诗卖个好价钱,浑家曾劝他不可太贪,当宋词出手算了。那料钦日几同学一句‘绝句和律诗通常押韵在平声上’,却道出个天大的破绽,正是:曾叹无缘作唐诗,点破平仄羞煞人。自此诗价急转直下,无奈权当元青花定价,没料想又杀出个韩王处同学说道,连个韵都不压,依我看民国的都够呛,顶多是现代的低仿。就此形同鸡肋,食之无肉弃之有味,砸在了手上不知如何处置,万般无奈却推敲把玩起来,不料却引出红尘中前世今生离合悲欢的一段陈迹故事。其中家庭琐事,以及闲情的诗词倒还全备。或可适情解闷,然朝代年纪,地舆邦国,却反失落无考。 第一章:喜聚会提起往事,恐误传吐露真情 第二章:狡兔三窟将真氏隐去,故弄玄虚借假语村言 第三章: 事起于合肥等车,发感慨管子谈天 第四章: 万灰丛中初惊艳,红衣蓝裙留悬念 第五章: 喜出望外与丽人同车,煞费苦计讨美女欢心 第六章:献殷勤拎着包十里长街相送,孤零零登了船扬子江上独行 第七章:双鲤迢迢一纸书,悲剧渐渐露倪端 第八章:青青子衿悠悠我心,纵我不往宁不嗣音 第九章:萍水相逢莫非前定 缘起即灭可是劫数 第十章:此情可待成追忆,只是当时已惘然 第十一章:名著必有套路,本文不可例外 题记:我以跑题掩饰一份思念。孙曰火同学曾多次 one-needle-see-blood 地告诫我,‘你的思路太散,恁是跑题’。本人深有同感,叵耐笔动题跑,端的控制不住。加此题记或许能掩饰我的再次跑题,或许进而令我无题可跑。也算是对化神奇为腐朽的一种向往吧。 有诗为证: 满纸荒唐言,一把辛酸泪,都云思路散,谁解其中味。 第一章:喜聚会提起往事,恐误传吐露真情 壬辰中秋,风调雨顺,国和民谐,山南大学无理系77级毕业三十周年聚会于保定。老同学相见分外亲切,仿佛时光倒转又回到了三十年前,只是可怜了那三十年苦练的道貌岸然全都丢到了爪哇国。正应了宋学生王小七的那段话:“这就是他们上学时候的样子,谁都没有变,一点都没有变。无论他们现在是做什么的,无论他们现在怎么在外面装腔作势,但只要一回到这里,一见到同学,他们就都会立刻还原出自己的本来面目,就都会觉得仿佛又回到了学生时代!” 我原暗暗打定主意给大家个意外,聚会中众人皆疯我独醒,突出的展表我的德高望重,庄严肃穆的玉树临风的光采。来它个沧海横流,方显我英雄本色。没承想几杯浊酒吃过,聚会中我的表现比三十年前上大学的时候还二,口无遮拦,一派胡言。尤其是看到女同学们音貌未改,容颜依旧,免不得愈发厚颜无耻起来。真可谓:最是人间留得住,花不辞树人依旧。一时把持不住,以酒遮面胡乱拥抱一番。聚会后懊悔不已,但愿十年后再聚时能表现的像条好汉,那是后话,暂且按下不提。或许民间传说的智者千虑必有一失便是如此,命矣。痛定思痛反思,自古以来就有墨黑朱赤,驴圈里养不出千里马之说。跟一群二驴子朝夕相处四年(二驴子是保定地道的土语,曾试图百度过它的意思,没此词,含义极广,一般是指无伤大雅的小玩闹,小痞子行为或态度,属于人民内部矛盾范畴。),神马也都成了浮云,况且我本就是一匹比较普通的千里马而已。现如今,澳无驴,在这里也算是鸡鸣狗盗各尽其能吧。有诗为证: 光阴弹指过, 转眼三十年, 旧貌依稀在, 不忍看新颜。 组织聚会的同学还特地安排了郊外虎山一日游,一路上车外秋高气爽,车内欢声笑语。同学们各自介绍了过去,现在及将来。尤其是听了郭召央小师妹介绍了在她们‘我太滑’村牛奶常常被添加少量牛黄情况,我原本为喝了两年的过期牛奶而愤愤不平的心情也就渐渐地平静了下来(笔者曾开过两年便利店,牛奶到期卖不掉,就自己喝,一天曾喝过二升牛奶)。一轮自我介绍后,坐在一起的同学三五成群的开始天南海北的聊了起来。我和杨士干,郭大木,甄色月,腾页,郭召央,寇木虫,张车朱,齐禾十,李曰戊等同学一起,不知不觉话题转到了本人的一段亲身经历。本来嘛,这件往事在小范围的男同学之间已有两三个版本,年代久远搞的自已也弄不清到底那段细节是真,那段细节是传说了。本人一向为人正派,男同学之间说点什么故事真真假假不很在意。正所谓清者自清,浊者自浊。可这次情况大不相同,郭召央,寇木虫,张车朱,齐禾十,几位女同学就在旁边,我一向重视自己在女同学心目中的形象,此情此景容不得我再孤言寡言默默无闻了,不得已只好假语村言,出来说几句。一来澄清事实,恢复声誉,二来也是了却一份心愿。看来所谓的人在江湖,身不由己的感慨并非总是矫情。从灵魂深处来讲,我一直抱着一丝万一在某年某月的某一天发生了点什么的美好愿望,即使三十年过去,痴情未改,贼心依旧。当然了物理77之十二金钗个个金枝玉叶国色天香,我等肉体凡胎本是不配入梦的,以酒遮面胡乱拥抱一番已是天大的恩赐了。但是我总是顽强的期待着万一,再退一步,万一万一不行,还有亿一呢。科技进步,电脑上都有128进位了,再小的希望也不至于四舍五入为零了吧。再说了大二的线性代数课也曾证明世间万物,凡是美好的,必是正交完备的。我的这个梦也算这正交完备空间的小小一维呢,前赤壁赋云:寄蜉蝣于天地,而不渺沧海之一维,便是此意。本以为人过中年,看惯春月秋风,感触世态炎凉,豪气不再,心如止水,已到了事如春梦了无痕的境界,没想到这次聚会却引出一段尘封旧事,有道是: 误入红尘中, 一去三十年, 纵然有真意, 欲诉已忘言。 第二章:狡兔三窟将真氏隐去,故弄玄虚借假语村言 我自幼研习物理,力,电,光,磁,热,点,线,面,微,积… 十八般武艺略通一二。在我们班上除了孙曰火,钦日几,寇木虫武功第一,韩王处,陈先广耍二驴我甘拜下风外,也算是排得了名次,拿得上台面的一条汉子,江湖上人尊称教授。历史上的确有人当面夸我物理了得,当面夸奖不可过于认真的道理也是懂得,于是不以为然。近来常有探子来报,说江湖上有人背后说我物理了得,虽然背后说我如此这般动机不详,倒也搞的我半信半疑起来了。多年研习物理且不论武功到底如何,却落下了一是一,二是二,不打诳语的顽症恶习。所以这里描述的一切,全是历史上的的确确曾经发生过的。文采为纪实之大忌,请大家原谅本文写得没文采,此处确实不便外露。这里几乎每句话每件事都能在我班同学们身上找到原型,再不济的也是从某某名著抄来的,最不济也是从网上搜狗来的,尤其是那些至理名言唐诗宋词片段,更不敢贪功。听钦日几同学说,近来江湖上出现一门人肉邪功,端的十分了得,比血滴子更为恐怖。想当年由于四与十四之争,雍正爷不得不用血滴子倒也情有可原。血滴子阴是阴了点,一阵腥风过后,只见一杯黑血从下水道冲去,却是干净利索。这人肉邪功顷刻间却单留白骨一堆,在恐怖上更胜一筹。加上西域番夷的万维网,更是防不胜防,取人一世功名于微笑之中。有诗为证: 故垒西域,乱石穿空,惊涛拍岸,织起万维网… 谈笑间,表叔灰飞烟灭… 为防杯具发生,故用加密术将真氏隐去,虽说同学大都为官正直,两袖清风。且人名皆为平凡常见,不为世人所知,无关大体,然亦悉数易去。无奈路途遥远,传统的单一密码术施展不开。总得有人先送密码本吧,倘若路上被清风寨强人鸠山打劫了去,碰上了王连举软骨头吃刑不住,密码本献上,秘密就见了光。就算是出了个练过铁布衫金钟罩的李玉和把密码本吞到肚子里去,咱城里的烧炭党人没了密码本还是不知道干嘛好呀,只好潜伏在怡红院天香阁继续过着腐朽的生活以麻痹敌军。老夫采用是西域番夷发明的公开密码术 PGP,其理论基础是算法的不对称性。比如11 的平方是121, 反过来 121 的开平方是 11, 可后者的计算要比前者麻烦,慢得多。公开密码术的密码是公开的,可以登到广告上去的。在这里举个简单的不太严格的例子吧,寇木虫同学在学校北园食堂门口贴个小广告,告诉大家她的公开密码是乘二。钦日几给寇木虫写了封信:我喜欢你。假设这几个字转成ASCII码为 […]

Heart of watermelon

(Author Unknown) When I was a kid in Minnesota, watermelon was a delicacy. One of my father’s buddies, Bernie, was a prosperous fruit-and-vegetable wholesaler, who operated a warehouse in St. Paul. Every summer, when the first watermelons rolled in, Bernie would call. Dad and I would go to Bernie’s warehouse and take up our positions. […]

Young Executive

(Author Unknown) A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make […]

Read this only in your moments of despair

(Author Unknown) Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight; Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in. Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege. Should you have a bad day at work; […]

Love of Life

(Author Unknown) One day an 11 year old girl asked her daddy, “What are you going to get me for my 15th birthday?” The father replied, “There is much time left.” When the girl was 14 she fainted and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor came out and told her dad she had a […]

Our worth

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the […]

The Carpenter

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker […]

What goes around comes around

His name was Fleming and he was a poor Welsh farmer. One day, while he was trying to earn a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby swamp. He dropped his tools and ran to the swamp. There he found, up to his waist in damp black compost, […]